I hate announcing my plans to anyone. they feel like even though you've already made your mind up, they still feel like they can give you advice. personally, if I didn't ask for it I probably didn't want it.

I've made up my mind. I sat up all night, weighed the pros and cons & I've decided that my moving would greatly benefit my kids and I. I have a place to live there. my kids and I are moving with him, so that solves an immediate problem. I won't have to go to work immediately so I can already have a memphis address to put down, once I get a job. he knows that I want to spend more time with my kids & he's trying to make that happen.

He is the man that I plan on marrying, I see things working well. being bestfriends helps, I guess. plus it was his idea. I planned on getting my own place, just so he could have his own space & not feel crowded by me & my kids, but he just assumed that I would just live with him to save me money & trouble. plus we're trying to spend more time together.

I'm really looking forward to this.

Happy father's day to the boyfriend of mine who has approximately 5-7 kids. anyway we had plans this weekend for him to stay at my house, but as usual something came up. he had to unexpectedly work saturday (his day off), the police wanted to arrest him because somebody with his exact name has warrants for crimes committed in '78 (two years before he was born). and the lowest blow, he came to town, no call no show. apparently at his dads sleeping off a nigt of partying that didn't end until 6 this morning. he was out with his hoeish cousin. anyway he calls saying he's his way down, at 1230 this afternoon. here it is 1000pm, aint seen him yet.

I'm at work now, 2 bad. he aint getting no pussy from me no time soon until he learns to be considerate. I told him that he should spend the weekend with his kids (fathers day) but he insisted on spending a lot of his time with me as well. but I didn't receive one minute of my so called time with him. we (i) haven't had sex since june 2nd & I'm going insane. And here he is in the same town as me & didn't even bother to call once he got here. I didn't want to bother him. its is parents & grandparents anniversaries,I felt he should be with his family. but he couldve included/seen me too. no big task. he's not even answering the phone. that's what really pisses me off. I called him at 730, he said he'd be at my house in a few minutes. shit, if I was a stupid bitch I'd still be waiting for his ass to show up.

my job is trying to kill me. in the past 4 weeks I've worked 212 hours. that is not normal. they have no idea that I'm quitting this summer. but I need to spend more time with my family. & lets face it, my schedule here doesn't permit that.

am I ready? am I prepared? I'm so scared. its such a big change. I don't think I can do it. I need to pray about it. it feels so right. but I'm leaving my comfort zone, everything that I know is here.

My boyfriend & I have talked it out... I'm moving to Memphis over the summer. so now he's looking into apartments, schools & daycare for me. While I find a new job. my current job is going to hate it when I leave. & i'll miss MOST of them (co-workers & patients alike) but I have to do something better. living here is doing nothing for my career or my personal life (with the kids & him). I'm happier at this moment than I've been in a long time. AND no this move is not all about him. its about my kids getting the opportunity to do somethiing different after school. join activities, go places. I think this is the best move for all of us.

I'm considering big changes in my life. my boyfriend & I live an hour apart from each other & our jobs make quality time difficult. he has a great job & in no way would he ever consider moving back to hickville u.s.a. I have the kind of career when I can pretty much find a job anywhere. so I'm really considering moving over the summer. that would mean new job, new school for my kids, new city, new home. but there would be so much for my kids to do there. so many activities, better schools. I would have a better job. I love my current job, but our scheduling system is so fucked up. I hate the fact that we sometimes get our schedule put out one day at a time. some of my co-workers are the biggest egocentric know it all jackasses in the world, but that's everywhere.

for those of you who don't already know, my boyfriend and I were strictly bestfriends with benefits for five years until April. that's when we decided to quit bullshitting & make it official. anyway, the distance is killing us. & in my mind & in his too, my moving would be a great thing. the main drawback would be that my family is here, but that is only an hour distance & I hardly see them anyway cuz of my schedule. the second drawback is that I have great daycare for my kids.
I'm hoping to have made up my mind in the next 2 weeks. so I can put some things into motion. I just hope everything goes well.